Okay, there are some really good folks who have posted here already, people who I have, in the short time that I've been here, come to respect. But I'm pretty much going to disagree with all of them. So take this with a grain of salt. I'm playing devil's advocate.

You are way out of your comfort zone here - this is a whole bunch of new stuff. A loner not alone any longer. Your first real relationship. Someone you enjoy. A best friend and you found the only person you could be yourself around. Who's world wouldn't be spinning?

I remember when I met my wife...up till then, it never occurred to me that I could be with someone and not feel run down. Not just a romantic interest - anyone. I would need to lock myself away somewhere private and recharge after any human interaction. And then suddenly, someone I could be myself with and actually feel better than before our interaction.

Anyway, one comment about the time factor. It's been said that this is too much, too soon. I told my wife I was going to marry her four hours after we met - and I only waited that long because I didn't want to scare her off. That was thirty years ago, maybe not normal - but either is the fact that we are still happily married.

Where others find faults in this, I find so many things that went right. First you said you would give it a trial and have spent nights away. Next, you told him that you didn't want the same things and he explained that it was important enough to him to be a deal breaker, but asked you to think about it. Sounds like very good communication to me. Sounds like you both value the relationship but want different things. He was honest. Before making some immediate decision, you've decided to think about it.

Okay, I can understand your fear of losing this relationship with your best friend and romantic partner, but if you weren't ready, then you made a mistake. Happened to me once - I made a mistake too.

I'm curious, and perhaps you don't know the answer to this, but...why? Can you identify the source of the anxiety and tears? I know it may look obvious, but I can speculate about a couple possibilities that aren't obvious. May I ask: why did you want travel and work and...? These are legitimate things to want and there's nothing wrong with choosing that path - but I have also known people who wanted those things for all the wrong reasons.

Boy, the things my mother would have done in life if not for us no good children and her pathetic excuse for a husband. A lifetime of listening to that and settling down and having a family wasn't in my plans either. My plans changed of course, but in the unlikely event that you have similar reasons, I thought I'd mention it.

Well this is, of course, no good. If he's pressuring you to stay up when you don't want to (or pressuring you to do anything else) then even I can't play devil's advocate any more. But if he's saying, "Aw honey, you're not going to go to sleep already, are you? I thought we were going to watch that movie tonight?" and you just go along with it instead of saying, "No, not tonight, I need some sleep," well then, I might be more forgiving.

If you don't feel any love or affection for him any more - then you need to take a break, probably a permanent one. If you can't eat properly or get enough rest, then you need to make whatever changes are necessary to provide for your self care. There is no need to feel guilty because truly, if you don't take care of you - then you won't be there to take care of anyone.

No, what you are feeling is not normal in a relationship. I'm one of those folks who believe that the opposite of love is fear. Enough love can make fear disappear and enough fear can make love disappear. Either way, I think it's time to take a step back and take some time for you. Maybe you'll find that he's not for you. Maybe you'll find he's everything you want and it was fear telling you otherwise. But you need perspective - and for that you'll need to step back away from the situation. Get yourself back in balance and then make a decision.

If he is as supportive as you say, and I've no reason to think he is not, then he'll understand you needing to step back and catch your breath. If he's the right guy, you're not risking anything - I would have waited thirty years for my wife, she was the right one - still is.