Quote:
Originally Posted by vonmoxie
I was the subject of significant abuse in my childhood and for a good while following, having been indoctrinated to it within the chaotic Cluster B realm of my family, and in my opinion it makes a huge difference whether it's the result of narcissistic patterns; if not for how you'd deal with the person (although I think that's an unfortunate oversight), then how you deal with yourself, how you evolve from the experience. When you're bullied or manipulated in various ways, and especially in childhood, it leaves a mark on you that makes you easily identifiable as prey for abusers of the same type. Emotional residue. To not deal with the nature of that residue is almost an invitation for similar abuse to happen again.
Especially with other narcissists, because they can be charming as all get-out, and you will run into them again somewhere.
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I don't feel like it's THAT difficult to spot and avoid getting into trouble with a personality disordered person... provided you're not one yourself, or have some unhealthy thinking patterns/behaviors. There's a reason why highly empathic, codependent, low self-esteem types end up with narcissistic individuals. Healthy individuals don't have this problem. And these same people suffer the most, and obsess over the whole experience... this is unhealthy, and I believe that's what rouge198 was trying to warn against. The idea that you can solve the mystery behind narcissistic behavior, or "fix" it, isn't helpful. At some point you have to just accept that it's not your problem, and work on yourself so that you can have healthier relationships going forward.