im incapable of making a decision at the moment. all i know is i need to get out of this chair because maybe moving and getting out of this damn room will help at least a little. and because if i stay here im going to binge/purge. there are lots of things i could do but im so apathetic right now moving feels like trying to push through sludge. if i could get my apartment tidied i would feel better. its fallen into a bomb zone the last few days.
if i could get to the park maybe i would feel better but its grey and cloudy.
maybe i could go to the national art gallery. but thats best for writing and i dont want to write.
i could see a museum. but im afraid id end up walking round depressed and it would make me feel worse.
i could go to the cinema but its so far away and that doesnt make me feel better. it just lets me escape for a while.
i could try some exercise but last time i tried that i couldnt because of pain after the operation. though thats probably an excuse because that was a week ago. but also the whole apartment feels dirty so i dont want to look at the floor closely which i would do if i exercised or i might feel sicker.
i could go for a walk but dragging my sorry behind around feels like it would be torture.
i cant read a book because theres no way i could concentrate on it.
anyone feel like making this decision for me? anyone got any alternative thoughts?