Have you tried writing down your feelings as if you were talking to a good friend (yourself). Sometimes just getting them out & written down (if you don't have someone to talk them through with) can help to understand what they really are. Then they can be put into perspective.

It is tough to feel like you have to have feelings for someone who hurt you (just because they are your Mother????). Your Mother is really just another person. It is important to understand that all the feelings you have are completely valid & understandable....& there is nothing wrong is feeling that way.

There will always be times when triggers hit & make the bad we went through come back into the front of our minds. Don't beat yourself up about your feelings....you are ok.

I'm sure that going off the seroquel doesn't help....I know for me, it keeps my horrible anxiety level under control. I wish I could send you some of my extra seroquel. I got tons of samples from my pdoc when I was on a very high dose. I know it sure helps me calm down & gives me a rest from my thoughts.

Take care, & if you can, find a T that you can connect with. That is an important part of therapy.
Debbie