This morning, over coffee, I shared with my wife the punishing lines I would serve up to her boss when she went on her next, predictable rant. Spoken innocently, benign thought certain to eviscerate. The words won't leave my home, spoken and shared I can let them go, though I still want to let them fly. I get it.

Not can I, but I find myself in the minority. Not everyone learns the same though, and truth can be wrapped in so many packages from opaque to lucid.

marmaduke came up with a good example. "A person describes horribly abusive parents, and then says 'I know they love me'" Approaching such a comment with discernment for the distance the speaker has traveled down a road of healing, I might ask, "You know, everyone describes love a bit differently, how do you define love?" or "How have they behaved lovingly to you?" Neither perpetuates a falsehood, but both open the door to a truth that they might not otherwise see. Now if my wife said it, I might respond, "Perhaps you might call Laura up and tell her, she speaks denial and b.s. so much better than I do."