Quote:
Originally Posted by sophiesmom
I thought I would just gather some opinions since I may be totally off the mark and need a reality check.
My parents are visiting out of state. They are not staying with us as they have their own house here. My mom no longer cooks and when we go out to eat my dad usually foots the bill unless one of us tells the wait staff first (we don't expect him to pay)
When they come over to my house, they will routinely help themselves to whatever I have....Like mooch around in the fridge and ask if I have anything good to eat.
I have no issue feeding them. They have done plenty for me and it feels petty to have this annoy me.
Would it annoy you?
Thanks all!
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this would not bother me because in my culture everyone is treated as an equal. by that I mean if someone is hungry they are welcome to help their self (even the children of my culture, know it is ok to help their self to the fruit bowls, fridge, cupboards....if they are hungry.) the way my culture is no one goes hungry, no one lacks for help, no one lacks for clothing, native american culture is one where we just dont leave someone hungry or lackin. it doesnt matter if that person is a relative, friend or stranger. it isnt a situation where snacking replaces meal time, just that hunger is something that can not always be shoved aside.
outside of my culture it is still ok for those I know to help their self. I see it this way.. I know how it feels when I am hungry and I know meal time is a ways away. that rumbling, growling ache for something to eat ends up taking up all my thoughts to where I cant concentrate on anything other than food and how much longer is it to meal time. its a pick your battles thing. I can sit there only half paying attention to what is going on and the rest of my focus on the fact that Im hungry or I can get up and get a snack, and go back to fully paying attention to whats going on.
I do offer refreshments to my friends and family when they are over. its just common curtesy when someone comes to my house I welcome them, then offer coffee, tea or something to eat? the usual reply from my company is something like sure I have time for a cup of coffee and no nothing to eat I just ate awhile ago. then I make the coffee and at some point during the conversation I slip in an offer for more coffee and something to eat.
if you are not of a culture that welcomes this kind of behavior from your parents, or this situation continues to bother you, maybe sit down and talk with them, it may be that they have a health issue that requires them to eat something when they are helping their self to your food supply.