K said:
I think your husband is borderline abusive and you are cutting him entirely too much slack.
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I am replying by saying this: Borderline abusive, Well that is really interpretive. You, and or others may see it that way, and Yes, it is an abuse of the Authority he does hold as man of the house. But, this is more of an infringement of that he is taking, a taking me for granted situation more than an abusive one. I will clarify: When I was a child growing up, I was physically abused until I was age 19, actually the night before I became married, I was still getting "spanked", as they like to call it. It was a terrible situation, true. But my husband was a night in shinning armor, he rescued me and made me feel like a princess in a fantasy story book. We just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary, and to this day, he gives me physically and emotionally the things in life that I desire. He is the BEST husband I have ever seen, I did not have the best role model to actually SEE what makes a good husband, but I always FEEL special around him. His one hang up is that he is old fashioned to a fault. I fault him here because I am worn out, work long hours , and yet the old fashioned side of him kicks in that says Only woman do house work. Yes, it is disrespectful, But to him, and how HE was raised, it is normality. What's NORMAL to one person may be abnormal to another.Partly because of how I WAS RAISED, It's HIGHLY important for me to FEEL respected, and not feel like a beat dog, like I did when I was growing up. Although he does not physically beat me, by NOT helping me when I need it, it beats me emotionally , leaving me feel resentful and ALONE. How can I be alone if I have been married for so many years to MY BEST FRIEND? Well, it's easy to feel alone when you see your situation as this: IF I DON'T DO THE SHOPPING,CLEANING,COOKING AND ORGANIZING, IT WON'T GET DONE BY ANYONE ELSE. This had left me feeling very alone.TO make someone like a husband who has no eyes to see my exhaustion, but only hear the voice of HIS past and HIS mom say that woman's work is ONLY the woman's, is hard to deal with. This is pretty much WHY I made this post to begin with. But, THROUGH posting, and THROUGH the advice and help I RECEIVED here, I was able to GET THE HELP I NEEDED, CLEAR MY HEAD AND MY HEART, AND CONCLUDE THAT I AM IMPORTANT! YES, I AM IMPORTANT. SO, what does someone do if they are important, they usually have and demand respect, if nothing else. So, all though he may or may not help me around the house and hold true to the AGREEMENT we have between us, I can have respect for myself, hold my head up, and calmly and collectively tell him what's what with out it turning into world war 3. I have had enough wars in my life. One way of respecting myself is this: I CAN NOT FORCE HIM OR ANYONE TO PERFORM FOR ME . Each person has his or her own path to walk. So therefore, I can only take care of my own actions and re-actions. To have a plan I find is the first step, not the last. I used to JOKE around with a comment I used to say, but it was just a joke and hard to follow through with, but now it is a statement of mine...I CAN ONLY DO WHAT I CAN DO, THAN I REST.....That's it, simply put, I don't have to put such high expectations on myself that I become frazzled to no end. I have made it known to my hubby and to my MOTHER IN LAW. I voiced this to show my BOLDNESS, MY LIMITS, MY RESPECT FOR MYSELF. I do not have all the answers, and may be definitely doing this wrong, but it's what I have for the time being. It's what I became after getting the support and help through posting here....smiles ;-)

Washable School Glue....yep, that's what I said.