I am in mourning.... forever plus a day...

I am so sad for all the events that happened in my life to make me DID..

The pdoc.. scared me to death.. he did this.. so that he could effect a switch... I did not appreciate that.. even if it was effective.. it was NOT fair.. Now.. that "moment is frozen in time, his face, my reaction (protecting my face- because I was hit alot by my ex husband)"... no more safe place..

Everytime I see him.. monthly.. he asks me.. "and doesn't THAT.. make you angry" and I say "no, why".. I still don't know why I should be angry...

I am not mourning being DID - that is ok with me.. finally.

Does no one care? Does no one understand?Does no one "get it"?