I just scheduled another appt. with my doc. I feel like I'm going to be "bothering" them by going back almost 2 weeks after my last appt., but enough is enough. He asked me at my last appt. if I'd be willing to see a shrink and I told him I am but nothing more , was said about it. Hopefully, he'll be able to refer me to someone who offers sliding scale counseling/therapy. I'm also scared of answering some of the questions they'll ask truthfully. I'm afraid if i do, they'll stick my butt in the hospital or something...there's no way I can afford that without insurance and I surely don't want to deal with the family's possible reaction, especially my mom's, since i'm living with her again. Is it really that bad to have certain thoughts if one has no intention of acting on them? This is all so new to me and I just feel so lost.....

I also have to thank you guys for taking the time to read and even respond to all this crap...it's kind of refreshing to know i'm not "the only one"