So, this will be my first time doing anything like this. I've never been involved in an "internet community" so this should be interesting.

Well, I am s 23 year old college student seeking advice on what you can call a very difficult relationship with a guy who is 9 years older than me. (I know that might sound like a red flag in itself, the age difference does show up a lot in our relationship).

It is extremely difficult to try and describe how our relationship got to where we are. I have known him for a year and a half now. Met back in mid '14, stopped dating Jan of '15 (in which case he found another lady to date who he fell head over heels for that I did not know about until just recently) and we started to date again mid oct of '15.

Now, the beginning of our "relationship" back in '14 was, difficult. I did somethings he did not approve of, and continued doing (no, there was no "cheating" or "Sexual interraction" with anyone else), nevertheless, it caused him to have very little respect and trust in me, which eventually led to us to stop dating. We did, however, still see each other after as a sort of friends-with-benefits type of thing, but not quite. You see, at first it seemed that way, but there would be times when he would ask me to go over and we would just sit, drink, talk, and watch a movie. No sex. The only bad part of this was, my feelings for him had never gone away, in fact, they grew stronger. Yes, I was dating other people, and while he never said he was, I knew he had every right to see other people because there was no commitment there. Towards mid '15, I finally poured out my feelings to him, only to be told he was not looking for a relationship and did not expect anything out of "us". He did however say he enjoyed my company, he cared/liked me, and wanted to continue seeing me. Whatever that meant, I chose to still see him. A couple weeks later, I find out he had a girlfriend this entire time, and he neglected to tell me, until he was caught by her and she had him call me (pretty high school huh?). Anyway, a week later we agree to keep seeing each other on accords that his gf and him were no longer dating. Which he told me he wasn't. Big surprise, I find out three months later they had been seeing each other still (not necessarily official, but still "dating") and I felt incredibly stupid.

We never agreed to be "dating". He always told me he