Good news one day later they worked out the error and my health insurance is reinstated and I'm covered back to Jan 1st.

Now I have to start all over looking for a T when I have the time and energy.

Our company holiday party was tonight. I RSVP's in the negative a few weeks ago, not a problem, until today a few people started urging me to go. I tried to make them understand that I am in pain and if I can manage to smile and get through the day that does NOT mean I am OK and spending several more hours smiling for other people would NOT be good for me. I unfortunately made an offhand comment to my manager about no one missing me there and I think he told everyone else to ask me to come because an hour after I said that everyone at work started to ask me to go which just made me feel horrible.

So I ended up having another meltdown at work. I can't believe I am still going in every day. I majorly screwed up a job today and tonight realized I made a grievous error on a job I completed earlier this week. I can't sleep and I can't focus and I can't do my job accurately so why am I bothering to go in every day?

Tomorrow I have meetings with two customers and I'm still awake don't know how I'm going to deal with that tomorrow.

Good news though is since I told them I wasn't going to the holiday party I made plans yesterday to go into manhattan and meet with some friends who know I'm suffering and to to see Star Wars again. Had dinner with them beforehand and actually ATE something, so yea I felt better and got my appetite back for a little while. And saw Star Wars again. But coming home all of the pain came back and now I can't sleep again.