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almeda24fan said:
I talked to my husband a little bit this morning. He was pretty shocked when I said 'so, how come you haven't told me that you and my family are having private discussions about me'...

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Good for you to confront him immediately. I remember you said you and your husband had gone for marriage counseling to your therapist. It is shocking this did not come out in therapy as it seems a central disruptor in your marriage. How could you guys make an honest attempt to improve your relationship in therapy when there was this big hidden thing your husband was involved in behind your back? Wow, this really just boggles my mind. ((((hugs))))

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Truth? My husband sort of does to me what my family has been doing.

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This reminds me of what my T has said to me about how people choose situations and relationships in their adulthood that are similar to what they experienced in their past. He says it is our unconscious effort to confront, conquer, and master the past situation--to write a different ending to the same old story. That is certainly the case for me and my husband, as I chose to become involved with him in a relationship with many of the same features as abusive relationships from my childhood.

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I'll be making my own plans for the future.

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Good for you. Write a different ending. Much luck, strength, and courage.