Angelique,

That's the finest explanation of the difference between hallucinations and delusions that I've read. Thank you for taking the time to explain... the explanation, I think, helps to bolster my feeling that my psychotic episodes can't be bundled and packaged and called Schizoaffective disorder.

But it makes perfect sense. As I've said before, I tend to use mathematics to understand and describe these things. And it is perfectly logical that delusion would spring from an attempt to reconcile hallucinations with reality.

Let me ask something. Most of my hallucinations (and, now that I have been able to sleep, the hallucinations are waking me up) lately have been centered on and around my parents. I hear them, I respond.

What I was calling a "delusion" was a "feeling," a "sense" of being in a world where everything is safe.

And there isn't any "time" when I'm in this state. I could drop into that state now and come out of it tonight and the only thing that I could tell you was that the sun was out the last time that I was awake. I keep saying that these episodes last about four hours but, honestly, I don't know. This hurts. I have been trying to suppress something but I'll just write it. I've lost days. The longest was four nights, five days. The only reason that I know that time span was real time is because of my new phone.

So I don't think that's a delusion, even though I have an awareness of my parents then, too. I'm in a lot of distress over this. Your explanation would only go so far in explaining these states but while the hallucinations and the cloud-time have a few overlapping themes, one isn't trying to explain the other.

I'm really quite confused just now. And I am very afraid. I feel ****ed.

I just called my doc. I think that I need an increase of Seroquel maybe. I don't know.

Thanks for writing back. I wish that there was a way that I could help you with your neighbors.

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