Sounds similar to my situation. You can't always follow your heart.... Not to be pessimistic or anything.. but I did that for years.... I kept thinking things would change.... things will get better.. and they just got worse. I was in a very abusive marriage. My situation was dangerous at times. We went to counseling and I feel that I put in 110% effort..and he put in about 10%. He also had a drug and alcohol problem which made matters so much more worse. We are now divorced. I have two sons.. ages 16 and 9. It has been very hard, but we have made it. My ex currently lives with a woman 14 years younger than him who has no children...and caters to his every whim. I could not always pamper him (I didn't want to reward him for foul behavior)... I was busy working, raising my boys, and being responsible while he was in and out of hotels with different druggies, and in and out of jail. I don't know if he is still sober, I sure hope so for her sake. I know that she will end up getting treated the same way I was and that is very sad. It took me a long time to finally realize that the whole dysfunctional relationship was bringing me down. My whole family actually with all of the constant drama that was going on. Every other day it was something. I have blossomed since my divorce.. excelling in my career, education, and I even purchased a BMW for myself which I had always said I would do by the time I turned 40. I am proud to say that I am 35 and I achieved that goal early! woo hoo! Don't ever feel that you cannot make it without this other person. I met my husband when I was 15, we were married when I was 19 and stayed married up until 2 years ago. I grew up with him, and he was the only man I was ever with. You can make it, and don't ever feel trapped, or like you have to stay. Do all you can to save your marriage, but don't sacrifice your sanity and happiness to do it. Good luck to you!

Julieinblack