ArtsySkeleton, may be you should try a therapist? There is no easy way to tell why your dad is so angry. Military can be rough ...

May be he is the one who needs therapy, but that must be his decision. Instead of waiting year out and year in for that decision (that perhaps never comes) you might benefit from talking to somebody who knows a lot about people and families. It is your life and it is well worth to take care of.

Good hopes for you!