Quote:
Originally Posted by Suraya
Here’s kind of what I’m talking about: somebody will let me down, or not follow through on what they have said they are going to do, or get angry with me, and I feel almost child-like fear of being abandoned and alone again. I have a need to control the situation and make sure things are “okay” and to my liking so I’m not “left alone and hurt” – that’s how it feels anyway, even if my adult, rational mind knows better. Does this happen to anyone else and how do you explain it?
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Seems pretty articulate to me. In fact, the bells just went off in my head -- that's why I do those same things. So thank you! The only explanation I can offer up is this just one of the ways unmet childhood caregiver needs affects us in our adult relationships. Having an insecure attachment can make us fawn because we constantly carry with us the underlying fear of being hurt and rejected like we were in childhood and that kind of pain is too much to even think about bearing more of.
How did or would your t have responded to you telling her this?