you guys know my ways I write to see it in print it makes it real for me to understand myself ...

been afraid to write this for what you may think of me ... while on you tube one of those side windows was a music video ... it was a kpop group ... they sing in Korean mostly ... the sound reached all the way into me like nothing else ever has ... the words are not important ... it made me happy ... really happy ...

I have become totally obsessed with them ... I have downloaded hours of concerts , mv's and tracks (over 40 gigs) ... I listen in my work truck as I drive ... I have my fix every night ... I love when I am alone so I can crank the volume up ... I missed a day and I was really bummed out ...

my wife thinks I have totally lost it ... I am like a drug addict wanting my daily fix ... tonight I spent 4 hours watching concerts ... it has helped me more than any pill or T ever did ...

second childhood ... around the bend , I really don't care ... I have had no interest in music for the past 40 years ... now I live for it ...

your opinion ... am I harming myself ... is it looney toon time ... are just a harmless fantasy reliving ( and maybe filling in) my emotionaly neglected childhood ...

I cry , I sing out loud , I laugh ... it really has me ... and I have never felt this way before , and I like it ... I have emotions for the first time ever ...

If I ever won the lottery my first trip would be travel there and thank them for lifting me out of depression ( maybe saving my life) ... I have actually worked out plans for that ...

I have become intertwined to find every scrap of information I can about them ... obsession thy name is ...Tigger ...

ps: I blame my meds ... that's my story and I'm sticking to it ...