Been a while since I've been here and things look a lot different. Sadly a lot of new names. Hello to everyone. I'm still struggling with triggers but learning more about them and how I react to them. They still catch me off guard usually, then I draw inward to myself for 2-3 days, not wanting to see or talk to anyone, or even get out of the bed. Then after the 3rd day seems like I go into a different phase, like a trigger hangover being in a fog. I guess trying to figure out what the heck happened over the past few days. Does this sound familiar to anyone else? So the company I worked for finally terminated me. It was much harder than I thought, even though I was expecting it. It seemed to trigger the abandonment issues. SO I went through 3 days, started coming out of it. I had a lot of messages on my answering machine from not talking to anyone so I started listening and erasing them. I accidently erased Dad's last message to me before his suicide. My heart fell to my feet. There's no way of getting it back. I had listened to it almost everyday for over two years and now it's gone. I'm devastated. I guess I have never had two triggers so close. But I am wiped out on all levels.