Well, right now my pdoc is not getting back to me. We had some miscommunication (maybe because I was so mixed in December??? but it happened in November too so I'm not sure) and I've been trying to sort out what is happening for 2 weeks now. And while I did hear from her once it was only to find out that nothing had happened when what I had heard in Dec. was that I would be admitted by the next day at the latest. At that was Sunday and I've heard nothing since. So not so great with the responding right now. I know there are several reasons but I must admit I'm getting kind of fed up. She knows that this is causing unbearable anxiety and that I requested updates---and I suspect that she knows that she told me this would all be started last week.

She used to be incredibly easy to communicate with and then she has taken an administrative job and cut her caseload drastically and she's very hard to reach now. This was my 3rd message and I think 5th email in the last 2 weeks (I'm supposed to call if I email to direct her attention to the email) and the only answer I got was when I caught her on Sunday.

So not as fortunate with that as I could be. I'm pretty sure this could have been taken care of by now easily if she'd worked on it. And since I have no scheduled appt. this month I don't even really have time to complain.

But overall she's more than I could ever expect in a pdoc so I shouldn't complain, it's just really hard that I NEED to do this and have needed to for months (I told her in November that I wanted to get past Christmas and at that point I wanted to go IP as soon as possible because I was at the end of my ability to tolerate this). And now we're 3 weeks after Christmas, nearly 2 weeks after when we agreed to go in and I'm waiting.

And I'm not handling it well. It's big and scary and I have been in bad shape for a year and I just need to get this over with. I would have chosen to just do it at home and take forever if I knew it was going to be like this even though that way has serious problems. At least then I could go in through the ER if needed.