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I don't think you are loved.
I was in a similar situation with my first husband. I didn't see it until a friend told me, "Your abused, like one of those lifetime movies where the husband controls everything".
Abuse isn't just physical. Pretend you need a Dr. Contact your case manager, and seek advice FAST.
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BEST OF LUCK TO US ALL! 
600 mg Trileptal (oxcarbazepine) 30 mg Atarax (hydroxyzine) 8 mg Trilafon (perphenazine)
Bipolar 1 - Borderline Personality Disorder - Generalized Anxiety Disorder - Eating Disorder
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