Quote:
Originally Posted by Imah
And: a Representative Payee will pay your bills, then send you personal needs money which your husband will control, and your situation won't differ. Unless you get someone like your parents who will be on your side. Also - losing control of your money will seriously upset your husband.
Unfortunately, control freaks don't usually want to grow and change with us. When I began to assert my personal rights to my first husband, we ended up divorced. He didn't want me to think for myself. It took years for me to recover from the deep insecurity I had accepted from his verbal abuse and control. I was angry at myself for years after the divorce- angry at him too, but mostly angry at myself for not loving myself enough to want the best for me.
Be your own best friend.
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My wife has been the one dispensing the emotional and verbal abuse but by time I figured it out, I was too sick to work anymore, quickly was approved for SSDI, but not enough to live independently. My money goes to me but she likes to tweak my nose by reminding me how much money she has in the bank. (She's retired federal.) And she still doesn't understand why our marriage is just a hollow shell nor does she want to learn about bipolar illness. As she told me, last year, "If you want to leave, go ahead. You'll be broke and homeless." That's her way of reminding me that I signed a prenup 20 years ago. She was afraid I was marrying her for her money. I married her because I loved her and I thought she loved me...or so I thought.