Quote:
Originally Posted by LorrieTorrie
I feel like I have no one. My parents refuse to accept that I need help. They think I just need to motivate myself to be better. My husband is very controlling, and I see it, but I have no one else. I would have enough to pay for my kids and I to live, but I know he would fight me for my kids, and he would win with my history. I keep blaming myself, because he wasn't like this until I lost our second home, so I feel like maybe he did love me at once, but the bipolar and BPD have made him change. I've been cutting this morning, and I haven't done that in weeks, but until I can start my meds it's the only coping mechanism I have...
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You say YOU lost your house. He is free of responsibility from that? (rhetorical). You say you have no one else. You have You. Also, you should have a professional support group. It sounds like you are not trying to learn all of the options available to you. That could be something you could motivate yourself to do.
Even my insurance company has a person assigned to assist people with mental Illness, plus there would be an Armhs worker I could have if I wanted. (Had one for over 3 years, choosing not to at this time).
I am not asking you to try to face those scary words,"be strong", I am asking you to learn if you have the options to "lean differently".
And as a friend (even though we just met) stop cutting please. Get up, and find something to put in your head other then yourself. Water a plant, shake out a rug...
