Right now, I feel like crying, I feel like screaming, I feel so empty. After today, I went to my school counselor to talk, before my friend advised to do so. I told her a sliver of the problem, how I was so stressed and quiet with class and my grades. I wanted to change classes, but she told me stuff that I've been hearing all the time. Don't let what others say to you get to you, ask for help. What made me so peeved is how she dismissed the problem, how she didn't understand. If I told her about my anxiety, depression, or self harm, they would have done something like send me to a mental hospital or something. Maybe I do belong in one, my friends always stress that I need help and it makes me feel like I'm weak or there's something wrong with me, not the problems. I feel like others are blind to how I feel, or is it me?

I went to talk to the counselor during lunch, and it was only a few of my friends there. I came in the school crying this morning, feeling hopeless, and one of them wanted to know what was going on. When I told her, she looked so shocked, and I got yelled at. She pressed on how stupid cutting was to do, how this is a current problem, just to push it all away. It surprised me and the others when I was yelling in tears. She has similar problems as me, she told me she understands, but if anyone really knew, they would feel the pain I feel. Now, there's a possibility that I'll be homeschooled, which limits my interaction with friends. I feel like screaming, but not a word passes my lips. I feel like crying, but I'm tired of doing so. I feel like cutting, but I feel paralyzed in my sorrow. I don't know what to do, I feel so close to my breaking point. I just want to disappear, to not hurt anybody. I feel like such a waste, if only they knew, but I am too scared to talk. I want to leave so badly, but I couldn't stand seeing my friends and brother in pain. They're what have stopped me for so long not to take action.

What should I do, how can I take my life back? I'm sick of feeling this way, but its all I've ever known. People get to me just to make myself mad, but it does more. How can I make myself stronger and not to let words get to me?