i really make myself feel sick. ive been so nauseous for the last couple of days and most of it is because i feel disgusting. thats not a strong enough word. dirty. everything feels coated in dirt. like im leaving this imprint of filth on everything. im not ocd and ive been washing my hands several times a day. i can hardly bring myself to touch some things because the thought of more dirt makes me almost throw up. i am utterly revolting. im sorry im being so terribly negative at the moment. this is a bad patch. bad bad bad. not sure if this is the right place for this post but my last one got moved to here so i didnt want to post in general again and have someone have to move it. hope i didnt get it wrong again. im sorry if i have.