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JustShakey
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Location: Arizona
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Default Jan 16, 2016 at 12:17 AM
 
I'm trying to formulate a reply to this thread - it is a topic that has had a lot of impact on me over the last few years: not my T's genuineness, but my own... I'm thinking that genuine is a concept that is hard to nail down, and I don't think that honesty and genuineness are necessarily that closely related...
A lot is being said here about acting, but without genuine emotion you can't act. The character an actor is playing may not be real, but the emotion is - that's what makes a great actor; the ability to understand and portray emotion...
Is my T genuine? Am I genuine? In my. In my very first session with him (it was a couples' session with the stbx), he told me I was not being genuine and I started to cry. I didn't understand what he meant. As far as I understood at the time I was being completely honest. I suppose, in hindsight I was not being true to myself, I was hiding from myself. I was desperately trying to believe an awful situation was something it was not. But in hindsight I also know I had no choice at the time. I was surviving the only way I could. I was genuinely doing my best.
So what is genuine anyway. Be true to yourself I suppose. Do the best you can for yourself. I choose to believe my T is his genuine self. I truly think he is, but that is my judgement. He has helped me greatly. Saved my life in a way. He has his own issues I know - I see chinks in the armor here and there, but I don't trouble myself with that. He is only human, kinda like me.

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'...
At poor peace I sing
To you strangers (though song
Is a burning and crested act,
The fire of birds in
The world's turning wood,
For my sawn, splay sounds,)
...'
Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue
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