when I stumbled onto this forum and started reading, I cried. I cried harder and longer then I think I've ever cried before. In each person's post, I could feel their pain and I could see myself. I'm sorry to have introduced myself with such a gushing of feelings and emotion, but I couldn't help but feel I had finally found a place where someone would understand..

just even to vocalize what I'm feeling.. how hopeless things feel at times. I'm so afraid of speaking to anyone around me about this because I'm afraid of being sent way somewhere or having something I've said used against me to hurt me or keep my children from me. Growing up, I always felt you should never let anyone know how you feel because that just makes it easier for them to hurt you and I'm so very scared of being hurt anymore.. But so much is building up inside me that I feel if I can't say anything, I'm going to explode..

Thankyou everyone for listening.. you have no idea how wonderful it felt to even say some of what I'm feeling outloud.. just to know that some of my feelings are being heard.. and that I'm not alone.. as for hugs, I'd gladly welcome any.. Thankyou again..