Hi Marmaduke. I am so sorry you have been invalidated . For me, that was exactly how I was treated regarding my mom. She even told me " just remember, you can tell anyone you want but they won't believe you. She was right about that. I tried. But to the outside world, she was amazing fantastic etc. and I was the cause of her pain. People believed her. Never me. Eventually I believed her and went into decades of a prison of silence. Her voice became my definition of myself. The prison. So again I am so sorry that you were not believed.

A psychologist in the late 1980s diagnosed my mom. But I do not easily believe diagnosis'. Eventually when I heard it from enough family members as an adult I knew the diagnosis was accurate. Now I am left with crippling self blame, and more. Especially when I See her and she heaps on blame and anger. Then playing the victim if I feel hurt. Once again claiming I hurt her feelings for no reason. ( as my brother says, she swings from perpetrator to victim). I was a HSP child which didn't help matters. Now, it is up to me to heal from the constant barrage of messages I took on. To release myself from the prison of guilt, self blame, etc. that's now mine. Thing is, I love her do much. And try my best to protect her.

I think talking about this here may be inappropriate for me to do. I am looking for a website that has a thread for daughters (or offsprings) of NPD parent. It probably is unfair to post my pain and challenge here. I posted at one other website forum. If I find any leads I will let you know