Hello krinkle. Your post covered a lot of ground but I read the whole thing and I did not find it "all over the place". I can really empathize with the trouble you are having and you painted an effective description of how you feel. I'm really sorry you are having so much trouble and feeling so poorly. Someone else here may have some advice about the meds. I just want to let you know you are not alone. I admire how hard you are working to find a solution that will help you feel better. Please keep trying.