I have the same issue. It is very hurtful and has caused me sleepless nights. My grandkids are with their maternal grandma a lot. She babysits them 3 times a week and sees them even more than that. Grandpa and I spend half of each month doing maintenance on our mountain vacation rental. The rest of the time we are local. We are all together fairly often, birthdays, holidays. I find I don't even try to compete. When we are all together my daughter-in-law, whom I have a close relationship with, will snap pictures of her parents and siblings with the kids. I have to ask her to take our picture. I feel like subliminally, but not intentionally, she is sending a message to the children that her parents are more important. I have attempted to tactfully mention that we would like to be in more family pictures. The girls look over the pictures and it looks like we weren't even there. So sad. We are really fun, outgoing people and it seems like such a loss. By the age of 5, 3 of my 4 grandparents had died. They have two sets of loving grandparents! Christmas morning my oldest Grand daughter, 7, says to me, "Why did you have to get here first?" It felt like the ultimate rejection.

I just sent them a post card from our vacation home telling what we are up to and that I love them very much. They haven't received it yet. Not sure if I should have a one-on-one with my daughter-in-law.

Distressed Grandma