Less of a rollercoaster today. But I'm running through some thoughts - that I should desensitize myself to real violence to be "tougher". Not slasher movies, but like those real violence and torture videos that people post online. Just the thought makes me sick, I feel too much for the victims (again, just thinking or hearing about it!) and I don't want to lose that empathy. Stupid thoughts, not sure why I'm putting them here in the first place.