http://forums.psychcentral.com/bipol...other-you.html (I haven't the time to read it all again, I'd like to do that later on.)

The words that surround us can be tricky, sometimes they can be deadly.

The above post is our wisdom, knowledge we combine here, but that is not enough, I believe we can do more. And you might notice the second line of this post where I used the word 'deadly'. Strangely enough, I've noticed that theme of death and me using it without hesitation, not giving it a second thought at all in almost all of my past few posts I believe. The reason why I looked up the slightly old post is that I wanted be kind to others in this post, but I seems to have a lot that I wanna let out right now, so, just be patient with me, I'm going to have to use my own judgement and words to do the work here today.

Like I said, the thread above might be able to help us understand about the world that surrounds us, including the mental illness issues we face everyday. In my humble opinion, no words should bother anyone. I'm sorry, I can't quite organize my thoughts on this one, let me just go through it real quick, there's tons more that I like to ,,dig deep on this post of mine.

So the point is, we throw each others words, when words are interpreted differently and think to themselves, can we still be friends? Is he/she a friend or foe? Do not let them bother you, or saying that just brush it off, no one meant to hurt you. How'd you know? From the last post of mine from this daily check in, you'd probably know that I'm a bit fussy about things and truth of that nature.

The fact check can't be done on my reality!

I'm just talking **** out of my *** here. Words entrap us. Here's an example from another thread, he's a kind kind man, he's been passing this wisdom to us time and time again here, let me forward it to you right here.

"That is also a symptom of ..."

Let me just be myself here for a minute. I can't always be so nice, I have a despicable mind, you understand.

How do you guys swallow that? Stomach it, how can you ****ing take that **** from anyone? On top of that, you guys throw around those words like nothing, when the truth of the matter is, those entrapment has been hurting us, could've been the cause of some death even.

Let's just put into bipolar context, that's easier for us, right? Mania and Depression. It could go either way, and it can be said by anyone, affected/and unaffected person(s). Your friends and families will think/say that, you are....

Am I overreacting here? Or is this the truth? Where do you find the truth? This brings me back to the time I was newly diagnosed, started to question my own doctor. At first, of course you listen to them, the manual saids, you have this or that illness/disease/disorders. Probably a linguist or some other specialist can tell you that these type of mis-understandings or whatever happens all the time, don't let them bother you, they are good doctors, just listen to them.

Am I anti-psychiatry? Do you go as far as to say that I'm anti drugs/meds, are you gonna attack my belief and principles? **** you!

We are all human, we seek the truth, or some evil minds likes to have fun with manipulating others, things can be what you make of it. Sure the DSM was made with the best of intentions, or the docs knows more than we do, we with some experiences of our own know what others don't know. We all want to be helped, sometimes so desperately when we need them the most. It's all simply a human nature.

To me, this seems beyond MI labeling and stuff, setting all that symptoms that make our lives difficult aside, we still have families/friends, work, the whole nine yard, the life itself. The truth/truthfulness vs manipulations. I'm not writing well here but, get this, "Isn't that a bit unfair?".

Spectrum of things, the degrees of things. As if we can almost will it away, probably not for many of us here right now, but do you remember yourself before your diagnosis?

I still somtimes have these little doubts when I come here. Let me trust every one of you, and that is very important for a mind like mine. When people don't take me seriously, I go berserk, guess I been like this most of my life, so I tend to avoid talking to people directly.

Hmm..... as you can see, I'm already a bit disorganized at 7 in the morning, I'd like to leave with this two thoughts combined. Having a shot at normal life, and how others see it. I'm thinking about this thread where the poster was asking basically if he could make it through, some answers that it would take a sheer will to push him self through. Then I'm thinking of this police officer who described his wife's life, using exactly the same words we use to describe the illness/quirks, she had to leave her loved ones behind.

I'm sorry, I have to leave with this morbid thought of mine again. I have concerns for myself too, so yea. I just wonder how much danger am I putting myself in right now? Nah, this is just my headache. phew... y'all have a nice day, I got more learning to do.