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cashart10 · Jan 16, 2016, 07:08 PM

Possible trigger:

Because life ends, period. Because kids will lose their parents eventually, and they will be traumatized. I love my babies so much it hurts. They keep me here. But, we die. We move on. Such is life. I feel like the 1950's...knee high socks and ashtrays...the green frosted glass ones. But, I wasn't born until the early 80's. I missed the 50's. I know that I will die. Why do I have to live so miserably? I wish to die. I wish that wishing to die is enough. But not only is it not enough, it also feels sinful. Even King David wished to die and he did, eventually. And, his life, full of passion and pain, was carefully molded to us. I suppose you never know what you'll miss unless you are there to experience it.

I feel like WOE is me tonight. I sometimes wish I lack passion. I have so damn much of it. I wish I could give it away so I wouldn't feel every damn emotion so profoundly. I wish I could place my yearnings in a box and ship them distances from me. I wish I could pull the reminiscence of my past from my gut and stop living in fear and pain. I scream silently because noise only scares everyone around me. I have enough of that noise around my boot straps. I pull them up so tightly. I wish I could pull them off and throw them away. But instead I decorate them to look pretty, pretty like the smile on my face. No one ever really knows because everything ends.