Actually for me I had to get out of the bad marriage I was living in & find out that when I left my problems didn't follow so I knew the problem wasn't me....so it was time to find out who me really was starting at the age of 54. It wasn't until I started to know myself that my confidence & self -esteem could start to grow. It was in there like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon but it had to be found & nurtured...it didn't JUST HAPPEN. Living on my own for the first time in my life was the best way for that to happen & also find the most wonderful friends I have ever had in my life....feels like FINALLY...but glad for that I was able to escape. I have never been happier in my life than I am now that I'm alone ( with my dogs).