Hi lavendersage. I like your name.

I am tired and am trying and finding ways of going outside comfort zone of parents. In fact by not hoping they will change, it is easier for me to live my life without that stress.

I try not to show my hurt in front of my family and protect myself from the toxic things they can say. If I have to be with them, the bathroom is a place of safe retreat.

I am tired of meanness too. Interesting when I start finding people that need help that they really appreciate me as a person.

The family is not as big as my online family. By not expecting family to be anything it is easier to just accept them even if I have to be careful and do self help to keep myself balanced.

I don't know how we got here, but it seems the more I try to find out what I am here to do, the more satisfied I am.

I have tried many things, but being nice to myself has helped a lot to building self esteem.
Building Self-Esteem | Psych Central