I haven't been very happy lately. I didn't think that stopping my antidepressants would be this hard. I've gone off Prozac before and it was nowhere as bad as trying to go off Cipralex. I don't know. I just became so sick of being a product of my medication and I desperately wanted to go off of them. I also felt myself getting better and thought I was ready to handle my emotions without them. I halved my dosage for 2 weeks before stopping which I know was too fast. After a week of discontinuation, I experienced terrible physical symptoms like nausea, lightheadedness, and headaches. It effected me to the point where I had to go back on the meds just so I could attend my classes. I've been on 2.5mg (which is a quarter of my original dosage) and it's not enough. It's better than when I stopped completely but I still experience symptoms from time to time. I'm just trying to remind myself that what I feel right now is me tapering with the medication and not who I am.

Sometimes I'm scared that maybe I'm not better and that I will have to go back on the meds. I just want to discontinue and experience my emotions and my life as the real me to know if I am really better. But it's hard to put up with the withdraw, especially when I feel so much like I did before I started the meds. It's so scary. I wish I knew how hard it would've been to discontinue Cipralex before I was put on it.