I am tired of having to pretend that life's a frickin bowl of cherries because YOU (my family) are too "uncomfortable" with mental illness to even try to relate to what I'm going through.

I am tired of having to act like the things that you (family) say, right in front of me, don't cut me like knives, don't terrorize and stress me out to almost the breaking point.

I am tired of being on the receiving end of so much mean-ness. I would NEVER treat another human being the way that you (family) OFTEN do me. Especially family!!! I'm simply not built that way.

I am tired of hanging on to the perception that we (family) is a happy, unified, unit. I've let that one go. THUD. That's dropped, dead, to the ground.

I am so TIRED of all this CRAP. I didn't do anything to deserve your (family) treatment of me in this way. I try to help, not to impose. My very existence has always seemed to be some sort of inconvenience to you. For Gods' sakes: I did not ASK to be born! And, in terms of my mental health issues - hey! guess what? - I hate it, too!

I just am so done with all this crap. I wish we could curse on here. This post would have a blue haze over it I am......primal.....in my emotional pain and utter frustration of this screwed-up, life-long situation.