Just about everyone has thought about suicide, many have given it much much more than just a general thought. We do get through it.

I find the topic of suicide to be like that of sex education . . . just because you learn (or think) about it doesn't mean you're going to rush out and do it. Researching suicide online actually makes so many people decide, "Yep, my pain sucks but that's not for me!" That's my take on it, at least.

Dexter, you have a community of support here. Of course if you find that that is not enough then you owe it to yourself to reach out to those who are trained in treating depression and suicide prevention. Let your light continue to shine.