dorsey, i commend you for your courage. i had the same problems years ago with my husband, although he did nothing wrong. we met at college. he wanted to get close, and i couldn't let him get close to me. we were friends, though. 2 years after i dropped out of college due to mental health issues, we started writing to each other every month. we did things step by step and communicated as much as possible, so he knows how i feel or if i'm feeling overwhelmed. we became best friends, then began dating and starting a relationship. i was scared at first. we took it slow. step by step. as time went on. since we lived in different cities. we would visit each other on weekends. i was still living my mom at that time. he had an apartment. i couldn't make the step to visiting him at his apartment, but i could at his mom's. his mom offered me her home whenever i wanted to visit him. i did that plenty for 6 months before i felt ready to visit him at his apartment. it was awkward and bumpy for awhile. it tooks a few years to get over all of the issues i had with intimacy and such. we moved in with each other. a few years after that, we got married, and that was almost 4 years ago. i'm so grateful to be able to be in a relationship because i never could imagine that having a relationship would be so special and such a good thing before i got into the relationship with my husband. he's a really good, caring guy. and, it's amazing to be married to him. lol, i know it sounds like a fairy tale, but it's not. but, it's a really good relationship. we're not just lovers, we're each others' bestest friends.