Why is over spending a part of hypomanic symptoms?

Sure I've done it, but not always, like right now, something's going on in my brain, there's this racing under current, it hurts and get me sleepless, I lost balance once tonight, I feel that I'm suffering. The medication should never have touched my brain, I'm not blaming it, it may have been helping me back then. The doctor should've given me a choice.

Even during those medicated years, I didn't exactly recognized my own cycles, something's iffy, I wonder what would be my natural state. I will keep suffering so that I could come back stronger. Another long year. I take freedom over anything in the world.