I hope this is the right place to post. If it isn't, I apologize.

So to sum it up, I get jealous a lot. Basically, I get jealous of basically everyone. I never feel emotions of happiness or sadness. I feel apathetic most of the time, unless I'm jealous. I'm aware that no one gives a **** about me. I feel like I did something horrible in a past life to end up this way (without positive emotion, without loving parents, without a happy childhood, without talent, without skills, without intelligence, without money, without looks). It's very hard for me not to think of the things I that I don't have. I feel like everything is pointless since we're all going to die anyway. It's also pointless because I don't care about anything and no one cares about anything I do. I hate being around people. I hate seeing how everyone's life is better than mine in some sort of way. I hate seeing how I was and will always be treated differently and unfairly because I was born as myself. I just hate everything about my life because I really don't have anything or anyone to look forward to. I just want to cut myself off from everyone, and just be left alone forever.

I feel this way because even though I went to college, I studied abroad, I managed jobs and internships, leadership positions, and etc... I was still a social pariah for whatever reason. No one in my family cared. They were just always mad at me. They told me I would fail college, I would never go abroad, I would end up homeless, that I'm worthless, fat... that I should live my life this way and that way. I could go on. Yet my other siblings are treated extremely different. They're treated with love and compassion. Their every need is attended to, if they have a recital/game/performance there's always someone there, someone will always call to check up on them. Where as I was out of the country for three months and it was a burden for both my parents to listen/talk to me for ten minutes. What made it even worse was everyone around me was talking about how much their parents care about them, how their parents are worried about them, and etc... Both my parents are separated, but on both sides they've managed to treat me like ****. I've been made fun of, consistently verbally abused, sometimes physically abused, and neglected as a minor. I feel like there's so much **** that happened to me as a child, that I just never had a fair advantage in life or even a chance really. Everything I wanted to do as child/teen, I never had the chance. I even had to beg just to be allowed to go to one tutoring session, but ended up not getting any other tutoring because I couldn't handle the verbal abuse/hate that came along with my ride afterwards (my mother). My dad wanted me to file for emancipation, so he didn't have to pay for child support. My dad and his wife always went on vacations without me but included their children. They said they didn't want me there because I would ruin it. Ironically, my mom has made similar statements. These behaviors by my parents have been happening since I was a child. I know it's not the worst thing in the world, but I still can't shake the feeling that I don't have any relatives that actually care or are concerned for me. And it hurts a lot.

I'll stop here. I don't even know where I'm going with this.
Anyway, from the first paragraph is there anyway to identify what's wrong with me?