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Old Jan 17, 2016, 11:43 AM
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Atypical_Disaster Atypical_Disaster is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gracebuttercup View Post
yes, when it is a charming mother, people do not believe the kid. That was my experience. My mother is charm to the max. She is very very popular and socially powerful in the city where she lives. And she did want to cause me to suffer. Not now. but when i was younger yes. She def. wanted to see me suffer. Did you know she was sick? Or did you believe her and blame yourself? I always blamed myself. Still do.


I hope the therapy is helping some. Even if it is not obvious.
Guess it's a very good thing that you are tough minded. If you had a psychotic mother, narcissist fathers then makes sense that you live with DID. Was the way you survived. I am really sorry things were THAT horrible for you. No one to turn to.

I was highly dissociative but not to the degree of DID. Although some people did question if I was. I am not. My father was not an abuser. Just was too weakened. He just wanted peace at all cost. Wasn't a bad guy. Just had no way to protect his kids. So I was luckier than many. I didn't have 2 abusers. Just my mom. But she is VERY strong willed and was hell bent on wanting to mentally torment me, whenever she felt like it. And then somehow would always blame me for harming her. That was the pattern. Of course I would believe her that it was my fault. I still do. She is very smart and strong willed. I believed it was all my fault. Perfect storm. Her the abusive narcissist, me the empathic HSP. Bad combo. BUT believe me, there are many who had it much worse than I.
For a long time I had no idea that anything was all that wrong with my family, being psychopathic and/or narcissistic is normal in my family so I didn't really think anything of it until adulthood... and I'm also highly narcissistic so realizing I wasn't normal was... fun, lol!

I never blamed myself, though I did wonder the usual questions, whys and all of that. Now I just accept that evil people do evil things, there's no understanding for it. Just acceptance.

I certainly hope you can stop blaming yourself, this **** isn't your fault, seriously.

I think I would be far less functional if I wasn't a Narcissist myself, I'm very high functioning. I don't work due to physical problems(I'm crippled thanks to all the torture I endured), but I still do a lot and I have a very fulfilling life.

I don't think talking about who's had it "worse" is all that healthy. Pain isn't on a hierarchy.
Hugs from:
Writer82
Thanks for this!
marmaduke, Writer82