Hi Sinking

"what do i do when i need to talk like with a t but no T available?"

Firstly, I'd say that it's great that you want to reach out like that and are prepared to talk about some of the things going on for you
Secondly, I'm really sorry but I don't know that I can be that much help with your question, maybe others on here can be but.............
Starting with PC, there is the online therapist:
Ask the Therapist
(there are also some other online therapist sites but I'm not sure how good they'll be.........)
Although not quite the same there is the emotional support section in chat;
Again not the same, but you could try some helplines or crisis chats online:
Common Hotline Phone Numbers | Psych Central
(there are more out there as well if you want to search national or for your area)
Some things/techniques you might find suggested by a T if you had one, you might be able to find on here in the Psychotherapy or related forums...........so maybe you could find something to resonate with you.
Or on youtube e.g.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqn...AbvfSlg/videos
And sorry I haven't even checked out any of the videos on here...........just looked for an example for you
But otherwise............if a T isn't possible...........then just talking to people who have been or are in your situation can still help a lot sometimes...........and there are a lot of amazing people on here...........so please keep on talking
And maybe even someone else on here could answer your question much better than I have



Alison