I wish I had an answer for you!!

Have you read up on success stories of people who have a history of self harming and how they were able to overcome?

Have you been traumatized as a child? There is a newer therapy called EMDR used on people who experienced trauma in their life (so much of it from childhood abuse). If interested, there is a book "The Body Keeps The Score" by Bessel van der Kolk. There is an online directory of professionals who have received EMDR training.