Slightly better but not much. Starting to think quite recklessly about just packing a bag and running off. I've nowhere to go and there's no-one I know, but that's part of the appeal. I'm leaning on family too much and I don't like it. It doesn't allow me to respect myself. I just have to get to Saturday and get space.

That's what's in my mind. Almost a fantasy and something I've thought of doing before but never have. I probably won't again but it suggests itself to me whenever I've time on my own. It's one step up from the other solution although it might just be a more indirect route to the same destination. Or it might be the type of brinkmanship needed to change things.