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Originally Posted by guilloche
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So, yesterday, Saturday... I got a call from him. My phone is landline, with no caller ID. He didn't know his phone number and just said to call him back... which I couldn't, since he didn't leave a number.
He called twice on Saturday.
He called today (Sunday).
He called again today, around 5:20, finally realizing that he needed to leave a number, which he did.
He then called again at 5:45 and left a message saying he was upset that I wouldn't talk to him. Less than 30 minutes after he left his number.
I've been sick all week (missed work), and recovering (sleeping) this weekend. I was out running errands when he called. I'm obviously not sitting around waiting for him to call... I have no interest in that. I want to be emotionally supportive, but I am trying to fix my own life, I can't be his mother.
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Good for you, you shouldn't be his mother - that would be awkward.
Look, few are going to understand the abandonment and general dysfunction of your family the way that you can. So while your brother was being unreasonable and scattered, you can probably understand how, in this world of automatic caller ID on cell phones and free on many if not most home phone service plans, that he assumed that you received his number. Abandonment and family not being there is the story of his life. Granted, you've been the one bright spot - writing to him while he was in jail and all, and so he most certainly should have given you the benefit of the doubt - but he doesn't have a lot of great life skills and his interpersonal skills are sub-par to say the least. The drug history hasn't clarified his thinking along the way either.
I'm guessing he didn't figure out that he needed to leave you his number so much as he was fighting his fears that you didn't want to talk to him and the idea that you didn't have caller ID was a desperate attempt at convincing himself there was a justifiable reason you didn't return his calls. I'll bet he didn't believe it...and thirty minutes later, he lost all faith in that being the reason. Because really, he's a piece of ****. He knows it, he knows you know it and it's imminently more believable that that's the reason you didn't call him back. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to him - but it's probably what happened.
Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche
Anyway, at 7pm I tried to call him back... and the number doesn't work. I don't know if it was disconnected within the last hour, or if he gave me the wrong number. His last message mentioned he had a lot going on, and had violated his probation and had to turn himself in tomorrow... I couldn't understand everything he said.
It's frustrating to me. I'm overwhelmed with my own life, I don't think he has any right to be angry at me for not calling him back within 30 minutes of him finally leaving me a phone number. He's in his mid-30s. I don't think it's too much to expect him to be able to figure out his own phone number. I think he expects me to call our mother and get the number from her, but seriously... if you want me to call you back, leave your **** number.
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You have some perfectly reasonable expectations, he just isn't capable of living up to them right now. He has some perfectly unreasonable expectations right now and that's the best he's got right now. That isn't your problem, but it is what it is.
All the best and congratulations on getting your own life in order.