i shouldn't be giving advise to anyone on marriage, because my marriage seems to be falling apart, but just thought i would add my two cents

i was in a relationship that sounds very similar to yours. we were both angry and would turn that anger at each other. even though one doesn't raise their voice, the attitude or tone can be worse than yelling.

body language also can set someone off. with problems in the past, name calling, yelling, threatening, etc. sometimes when you have had a bad day, or are not in a very good mood, all it takes is someone's attitude or tone to get smacked with that wave from the past. a past of fighting, yelling, name calling, etc..

a wall is automatically put up, anger creeps in, and the attitude, tone, or yelling starts. it took me a few months to see this in the relationship i was in. we lived together for two years and seemed to do nothing but fight. i am thankful, everyday, that we didn't get married.

we, too, had different views on things. it was almost like night and day. once i seen the pattern, and realized that it would never work because there were too many hurt feelings, and the past was nothing but rocky, i knew i had to go.

i am not advising you to leave, i am just trying to explain my situation in hopes you may get something out of it. it seems as if anger has become a pattern in your relationship. you both need to find out where the anger comes from

it could be nothing to do with each other, just something that happened in the past, etc.. even though you don't raise your voice first, maybe your tone or attitude sets him off, and vise versa. maybe therapy seperatly first, to get to the bottom of the anger would be best. then marriage counsiling.

sometimes differences can be settled, but it takes time. sometimes they can't and it may take time to realize that too.

the biggest thing i have learned, from the past and what i am going through now, is that you must take care of you first. if your stress level is so high it effects your health, mental or physical, that must be taken care of first. if you must seperate to do this, then do it. you don't have to rush right into a divorce, no more than you would rush into a marriage.

i hope some of this helped. i wish you all the best. take care and hope to see more posts