I wish I could figure out what’s going on with me right now. Yesterday was awful, and my psychiatrist isn’t available until tomorrow morning at 8:30am. See, I’ve been taking my meds regularly finally… yeah, I got an app for that and well, I started noticing my mood declining over the past few weeks but wasn’t sure cause sometimes I’d be generally okay. Or surviving. Something like that.

Yesterday I was panicking in a way cause none of my friends were available in a moment of crisis (didn’t want to be alone, wanted to hear someone’s voice – someone that I knew, was absolutely miserable for no reason), and so I called my parents and after talking to them for a while, we decided that it would be better for me to be over at their place.

Unfortunately, I had to get my dad to come pick me up because I was absolutely terrified about going outside my apartment building by myself. So after my dad picked me up I stayed at their place for the night and part of the morning. I guess I’m doing a little better now but I’m still miserable. I feel overwhelmed but also kind of numb in a way. I don’t know why… this is just really not good for me.

I want to thank you guys for listening. I feel like such a burden and a nuisance most of the time.