Quote:
Originally Posted by Scotzmen89
Hi Lavender I'm sorry for your situation. I totally can relate, I always have to pretend around family. Everyone knows my situation but never asks me a simple "How are you doing". I have family members that just out right don't understand at all. My Dad told me I don't follow my Dr's treatments. I've tried everything, ECT 5 times, every med out there. Last year I put out $2000.00 to try Ketamine Infusions in NY, I have a Vagus Nerve Stimulator currently on, years of talk therapy. I've realized some of them will never get it but I don't know the secret to not letting it hurt. I understand though and I know the suffering you go through with the depression. I have to say your line about "I didn't ask to be born" I tell people all the time. Hang in there and feel free to write back, I hope you have any easier day today, take care.
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thanks, Scot. I am not doing better. In fact, I know I've begun that slippery slope back down to the abyss again and it's been getting Crisco applied to it with each passing day.
I was only inpatient once (depression to the point of utter and total S ideation) and right after I went through IOP. One of the things we learned about in IOP was to become aware of the signs that you are starting to downward spiral. You're supposed to find someone that can be your "go-to" person; someone that you can trust and will keep an eye on you. I know what most of my "indicators" are. They've been showing up, steadily, for the past couple of weeks. I think just about all are now "present and accounted for". I am terrified. I have to keep it together to be able to keep going to my job and hey - no pressure here - to get another, higher-paying one.
How would anyone in a depressive episode like to go out
job interviewing? You feel like absolute shight and yet you have to sell yourself to a potential new employer like you're the best thing since sliced bread, totally together, got it all going on.
And your home life is absolute hell offering no succor, no support, no stability. In fact, it is often openly passive aggressively hostile. AND YOU WERE INVITED TO BE HERE.
