Hi, ToxicCupcake!

I hear ya on the Trazodone. That stuff made me so groggy the next day. Instead my pdoc gave me Zoplidem (Ambien) which doesn't give me such a hungover feeling.

I also know exactly what you mean when you say you're surrounded by people but still feel all alone. Back in my early 20s I had a lot of friends, but because none of them really understood what was going on with me (to be fair, I wasn't fully sure either) and sometimes talked crap about my behavior (which is understandable, but still hurt a little) I felt all alone. The only person who could really relate to me was my borderline friend, but the group essentially forced her out (for a while) after her 3rd suicide attempt because they didn't want to deal with her anymore. I wish I knew of PC and similar sites back then to have some people to talk to about it all.

Anyway, welcome! Everyone here is pretty great. You've found yourself a really cool place to chill online where people will totally understand what you're going through.

See you around the boards!