This is my first reply on here. I need support in my life.

I stopped taking my medication for a couple days and was manic and drank so much and cheated on my girlfriend, whom I love so much. She was finally someone in mylife who was so good for me and I'm afraid it'll never be the same. She's being more understanding than anyone would because she cares about my mental health more than anything.

After I told her this morning (cause this happened last night), I got so depressed. I hurt her and I hurt myself. And I realize the consequences of not taking my medication now. But all day I've been crying, can't stop. And the emotional pain feels unbearable.

The last two years I have just regretted everything. I don't even know how I've survived this long with the things I've done because Im a mental case. And I will keep fighting but losing her is so hard. And the crying episodes is insane. I cannot control it!

And today I couldn't get myself to eat anything. I couldn't get myself to do anything. My body was aching from the depression.

I need support and encouragement. And I'm hoping that is what this site will offer me.